Why is it you don't feel the need to close the bathroom door behind you on the plane? Why is it you need to have your bag in the overhead bin directly above your head? Why is it when I hand you peanuts, you look at them like I'm handing you rat poison? Why is it you pack so much and expect me to lift it for you? Why do you need 3 drinks on a 30 minute flight? Why is it you can't make eye contact or say please and thank you? Why are you the first one on yet you take the most time and hold up the boarding proocess? Why do you feel the need to take your shoes off and stick your stinky sweaty feet on the back of the armrests/bulkhead? Why can't you just turn off your cell phone and mp3 players when we ask the first time? Why does your mouth gape open when looking at the arrival/departure monitors? Why do you have to get up when the seatbelt sign is on? Why don't the latches in the galley turn the way they are supposed to? Why do you roll your eyes and stomp away when I remind you that you MAY NOT wait for the bathroom by the cockpit? Why does my flight bag get heavier as the trip progresses? Why are there carpets in the airport? Why does the bathroom stall door in the airport open in instead of out? Why does the line at security come to an abrupt halt as soon as I step into it? Why does the provisioner taketh from my meticulously stocked "back stock"? Why can't the pilots dress normally in their free time? Why do people even drink diet pop? Why don't you cover your mouth when you cough? Why do you do you think I know what river that is down there? Why do I always forget something at home when I've been doing this for over 15 years? Why does it suddenly become turbulent when I pour coffee or red wine? Why do you throw your trash on the floor when we walk by 500 times collecting it? Why can't you just get the damn peanuts in your mouth? Why is the hotel van latest on the longest duty days? Why do the pilots get fat when they move to the left seat? Why does the maid insist on vacuuming in front of my door? Why do you lean into the aisle and read your paper? Why do you always think where we are going is where I must live? Why can't you find the paper towel dispenser in the lavatory even when it's properly marked? Why do we call it a lavatory?
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